It's been a while.
I turned 30 on February 27. To me, 30 was always the threshold of "old". Somewhere, probably in a box in my parent's basement is a list of things I would like have done before I turned 30. I wish I had that list. I made it when I was around 15 and I can remember a few things on it:
1. Get married (accomplished)
2. Travel to Europe (accomplished)
3. Play semi-pro soccer (not accomplished)
4. Be a missionary in a Muslim country (not accomplished, my wife was though)
5. Learn guitar (accomplished)
6. Skydive (not accomplished)
7. Run a business (accomplished)
8. Be published (accomplished)
9. I'm pretty sure that "Meet Alyssa Milano" was on there too (not accomplished)
I realize that the amount of change that has happened in the last fifteen years is hard to fathom. Heck, the amount of change in me in the last six months is hard to fathom. I think that the only thing I am going to put on my list of things to accomplish before I am 40 is to keep changing. One of the major things I've learned is that there is always more to press into, particularly in my relationship with Jesus, Sheri, my kids, my friends and my church. It's a constant changing, a constant moving. Satisfaction is not an option. Stagnation is unacceptable. Resting in Jesus is important, but even that produces significant change in me.
A lot of people say that they desire stability, something to be constant. I think there is only one unchanging thing: Jesus. Maybe there's another unchanging thing: Jesus' ability and desire to keep changing me. What I'm finding is that while the change often hurts and takes me places that I'd rather not be, I've never been more fully alive than I am right now. And I'm 30. I think that's saying a lot and it's all an act of His grace in my life. So far, I don't mind being 30 and 21 days because I know Jesus better now and have been changed more by Him than I was when I was 30 and 20 days. Getting old used to worry me, and I did pull my groin while playing basketball the day after I turned 30 which made me feel really old, but I don't think there's any better way to know and love Jesus than to just keep being changed by Him as I live my life everyday. And one day I won't be here anymore and I'll know and love Him better than I ever have.
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8 comments:
that was way beautiful
It was way out of character and drove me semi-crazy because I could only remember nine of my original list. I was going to make one up, but I decided to be too legit to quit.
Great thoughts Jay.
*Smiling* Hope your injury is feeling better. I find the closer to 40 I get the more I appreciate God as the Great Physician.
[happy birthday]
whoa... you are old. ;)
it's great that Jesus is faithful in lovingly hammering on us... even when our groins are out of shape.
where have you been published?
after I read this post I went and made a list of all the things I want to do before I am 30! thanks for the idea. ;-)
it seems like you have lived a lot of life in 30 years.. I am sure God will continue blessing you with more and more as you are a blessing to others. thanks! I enjoy your posts.
Love it. :)
When I was a child, I was changed all the time.
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