Today is Trey's sixth birthday.
This whole journey I've been on lately with understanding my identity in Jesus as being more than what I do for Him has been most intensely illustrated to me by my relationship with my kids -- especially Trey.
Trey is my namesake, and he is most like me in personality. When I watch him, his reactions, his struggles, his young values -- I see me. When he grows up, he wants to play soccer for the Italian or Irish national teams because the USA sucks at soccer. I swear I didn't put that thought in his head.
Trey and I sometimes butt heads, and when we do it can be rough. My mom has a saying for parenting: "Choose your battles wisely and win every battle you choose." The battles I choose with Trey are often really difficult.
No matter what though, he's my son. He's mine. I see me in him, and that's not pride at all. When Trey scores a goal, that's my boy. When Trey gets his name put on the board at school, that's my boy. While I will obviously react in two different ways in regard to training/discipline in those two situations, there's one thing that doesn't change: he's my son and I love him more than I can say or understand. Nothing he does or is ever changes that fact.
No matter what, I'm God's son. I am his. He has put His nature in me and seeking His own glory through me is not pride at all. When I preach a good sermon, I'm His boy. When I speak in anger to my wife, I'm His boy. While He obviously reacts in two different ways in regard to my training/discipline in those two situations, there's one thing that doesn't change: I'm His son and He loves me more than I can say or understand. Nothing I do or am ever changes that fact.
Happy birthday, Trey. Thank you for teaching me about who I am. You are my son, I am so pleased with you, and I love you more than you will ever know.
3 comments:
completely understood. my personal experience is that also...having to realize that if i love my kids to the point where there is nothing they can do to make me not love them, then God can surely love me no matter what...since i cant fathom what His emotions are.
i also realize that my troubles with God are so mirrored in the troubles i have had with my own dad. to take that and make changes in your life to not do that to your own children is difficult to say the least.
one day at a time.
Happy Birthday to Trey! I still remember the moment we heard he was here! We talked about you guys on his birthday... can't believe he's six!
Matt and Beth
Did you ever imagine you could love anything or anyone to that depth? Being a father, and loving my children the way that I do, illustrates well for me why Jesus's had\has a desire and willingness to do whatever it took\takes to save me from myself.
P.S. You are doing a GREAT job with Trey. He is a really neat little kid to know. I love having him in class.
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