It's been a while. To be honest, I've thought a lot about posting in the course of the last three weeks. I've even logged into blogger and written some stuff and then deleted it.
So why no posts?
I have had nothing to give.
September was rough month for me, spiritually speaking. That rough time extended into some of the key relationships in my life and I started doing rather than being. Here's a window into my life: if I miss time with me and Jesus, just for the sake of loving Him and being loved by Him, I lose it spiritually.
One of the weak points about my driven type of nature is that I have an incessant need to work harder in order to fix stuff...even my relationship with Jesus. So when things are rough at home, and people at church are frustrating, and the prayer network has no one coming to pray, and the children's ministry fund is not going well...I know that the key to me staying "on top of things" is to get alone with Jesus and right things spiritually.
And so I do, but only with the intention of getting me "fixed" so that I can get back to doing. And so I do what is right and what I know to do, but there is no heart connection because the relationship is not flowing out of my identity, it's flowing out of my work ethic. I'm using Jesus to fix me -- setting His agenda for Him -- instead of releasing myself completely into Jesus to be born again in Him again (if that sentence didn't make sense, come to Cornerstone Sunday).
So, last week, after much tough love by my wife, I went to spend time with Jesus just to be with Him and receive. And it was life-giving and wonderful. He again established my identity in Him and reminded me that as long as I am His, I have everything I need.
Take the world, give me Jesus.
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3 comments:
You message on Sunday spoke into a reoccurring theme in my life - new beginnings. After processing everything, it made sense of how I see\feel God is moving in my life, the life of our small group and the body of Cornerstone.
Thank you for your continued faithfulness and endurance in seeking God's truth and being a vessel for His words.
God pointed me to this message one day and I wanted to share it with you today. (This is not an original thought.)
To endure. It is the ultimate test of faith, because the very definition of faith - to undergo hardship without giving in - implies no promise of pay-off, no sense of a beginning, a middle or end. A true test of endurance leaves few clues about how long you'll have to hang on. It offers no light at the end of the tunnel, no marker by which to measure that last, labored sprint to the finish line. If you could see the finish line, it would not be endurance.
Dude, Kory -- that was good stuff.
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